The fact that I was pastoring full time and resided in a place unknown to some of my prospective in-laws raised many concerns. It was a red flag for them. I did not have an easy ride to marriage.

One of her elder brothers eventually agreed to see me. We met in a restaurant in one of the high brow areas in Lagos. It was a night of many questions.

His wife asked the question that can throw a visionless man into confusion and reveal the laziness in his life. It was a simple land mine- “Pastor, please kindly describe to me your typical day?”

I did not ramble about it. I started the previous evening because I told her my day begins before I go to bed. My mentor had taught me that “If you go to bed with a vision, you will wake up with a mission”. I described my day hour by hour and what I do. I escaped. I got their support from that day. We have an amazing bond today.

One of the signs that a man has no vision for life is that he has no plan for the day. If you marry a visionless spouse, you will live in frustration. You need to check underneath the facade of impressive words and flowery lifestyle to confirm if, indeed, this person has a sense of direction.

Some people have nowhere they are headed. Once you join such a man, you become stranded in life.

If they are always talking about what they will do, but they never get to do it. It is a red flag.

If they are always saying, the reason why things are not working is that they are waiting for one uncle and aunt or a brother abroad before they can decide, and they keep lounging. It is a red flag.

If he tells you the Lord has called him to ministry, but he sleeps all night and gist all day without building something for the Lord and shows no active sense of work and hard work, it is a red flag.

If he is loaded with excuses without taking actionable steps, he is a lazy person.

The lazy man says, “There is a lion outside! I shall be slain in the streets!”
Proverbs 22:13 NKJV

A lazy man has the answer to everything. He is smarter than counsel and wiser than correction.

The lazy man is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly.
Proverbs 26:16 NKJV

A lazy spouse is a huge liability. Your family will be trying hard to fly on one wing. It will not get off the ground.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing