As we discussed a matter, Irewamiri said, “Darling, such matters do not spring up suddenly. They must have been fornicating as singles”. She was right! 

Most marriages that struggle with infidelity struggled earlier with self-control in courtship.

You should be physically attracted to one another and with a desire to sleep with one another- that is part of God’s plan for you. However, you must be willing to wait till you are married – that is God’s design to teach you self-control. Why? You will still need that vital fruit of the spirit in marriage. It takes a while to grow a fruit. 

If you break your defences of self-control in courtship, you have weakened the wall of fidelity in your marriage. When there are cracks in your wall, you have programmed yourself for the invasion of strange elements- lizard of lust, wall gecko of adultery and the serpent will bite hard, real hard, leaving heavy deposits of poison in your marital union. 

Beloved, if you have been engaging in fornication, you are an adultery apprentice in training. What do you do to help your future?

Repent Genuinely. Repentance is not old-fashioned. It is a key requirement for restoration. Repenting is like pressing the refresh button when your device is misbehaving. 

And now you must repent and turn back to God so that your sins will be removed and so that times of refreshing will stream from the Lord’s presence.

Acts 3:19 TPT

Confess. This is key for the healing of the wounds that sin inflicted on you. Confess that sin. Confession is like the spirit in the first aid box. It will be tough on the wound, but it will heal you eventually. Do not just carry on. 

Seek Pastoral Accountability. Engage the advantage of being pastored. Never live an unpastored life. You will be like a sheep without a shepherd. You are exposed to attack. Accountability is your defense. Be trackable. Be transparent. Stay teachable. It is for your good. 

Build Railings of Discipline. When a man has tasted sin, he must avoid hanging around sin. You cannot be dancing around a pit and rejoicing that you are not falling into it. Build systems around you that will not let you slip again. 

Clone your phone if you can. Share the password with your spouse. Let them see it all. Sometimes, we get to respond to messages on behalf of one another. It should not be a big deal.

Why are these actions important? 

The devil is the accuser of brethren. He will use it against you. It frees you from accusation, guilt, shame and condemnation. 

The devil is looking for an opportune time to strike again. He does not give up. 

It removes suspicion from your union and restores trust. 

May the Lord heal your wounded heart, restore your broken heart and give you a new beginning. Receive the strength to go through the process that births a new beginning. 

©️ temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.

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