THINGS TO SETTLE BEFORE MARRIAGE (5)
When we returned from our one week break after the wedding, someone complained that there were people who did not get to eat at our wedding. My response was simple, “Can I have a list of those who complained that they did not eat so I can know the list of people to unfriend. Both my wife and I do not even know the taste of any of the food served on our wedding day”. That settled the contention.
Friends, one of the things that you must settle before marriage is that you will not allow the pressure of public opinion dictate the tune of your life and marriage.
One thing that will put you in trouble is the popular statement of “What will people say?” Train yourself to live a life to please the Lord and pursue purpose rather than please men. Whatever you decide to do, the opinion of men is not your control.
Tell yourself that you will not do anything beyond your means. It is absolutely unwise to either spend all you have earned on a wedding or take a loan because you want to get married. Must your suit be a new one? If you wear the one you already have, did they say the Lord will reject it?
There is no rule that says people must eat. If you or your parents cannot afford it, do not do it. Some people’s capital for a family business is fully resident and digested in the belly of men. Your family finance after your marriage must be your priority.
The combined monthly income is just about a hundred thousand but you have a wedding budget of about three million. If you have wealthy parents who want to pay the bills. Fine! But have they even given you half of that amount ever to do something for your new home or invest in a business? You can ask them to invest the money in your marriage and not your wedding.
If you are not free from the trap of people’s opinion, you are not ready for marriage yet. You will not be able to defend your home when it is necessary.
Let us see what King Solomon said about the fear of men:
Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. Proverbs 29:25 NLT
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. Proverbs 29:25 GNT
The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that. Proverbs 29:25 MSG
Some people have lived their entire lives pleasing men. Their wedding too was a perfect summary of trying to please men. Their marriage is now in a mess tied to the same trap of trying to please men.
Beloved, if you say “Yes” to everything and everyone in life, you will remain small. “No” is a handy tool for every man or woman that will be great. Say No to pressure. Do what you can with what you have. Enjoy yourself while it lasts.
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