BUILDING RESILIENT MARRIAGES (V)

It was a trying period. We were gradually coming out of it due to the counsel of teachers. Our emotions have come under severe stress. We looked at the season, and the challenges at the time raised many questions.

Fortunately, we had a chance to hang out with another couple- our friends. We were vulnerable as we shared our experiences. They spoke about their journey also- seasons when the wife had to wash one of her private wears every day at the close of work so she could use it the next day.

We (the men) told both our wives about how the needs at home already put us under pressure before they even asked at all. We mentioned that there had been times we held the car’s steering wheel and shed tears as we looked to God and racked our minds.

What is the point? If your marriage will be strong, take your journey with teachers who challenge you and friends who are real. If your circle of friends puts you under unimaginable pressure, you will stress your marriage.

Friendship is never neutral. It will always leave a mark on your life. Men are portals. They carry spirits into your affairs. If you are not careful and discerning, you can keep those who do not have the interest of your marriage at heart as friends. 

If your home is surrounded with only talks about “perfect homes” who go on summer breaks and shopping sprees or gist about party clothes, and all you talk about are things that have no long-lasting impact, you will stress your marriage.

Friends, surround yourself with teachers who have gone ahead but have not lost touch with where they have been. They teach you from the pains of their process and not just the pressure of their present status. They remind you that they did not get to blend or prosper overnight- keep them tight!

Some people have forgotten the days when they could not afford to buy clothes from expensive stores, but they keep telling you that is what you must wear- run fast. Run! Thank them for their love, but run.

Do not lose out on the joy of your process through the burden placed on you by those who have either forgotten theirs or are simply not being real.

You must be secure. Do not let what you see on social media also pressure your union. Do not kill your marriage. Kill the pressure. There is a process. Follow through with joy. The process today becomes history tomorrow. 

Yes! There is safety in the multitude of counsel. But do not forget that “Who” is more important than “What.” Who is giving you the counsel? Even the devil can tell the truth.

One of the finest counsels we got before marriage was so simple- “Own your journey. Laugh at your mistakes. Do not take yourselves too seriously”. When we have a lot, we laugh. When it is not enough, we laugh harder. We love up on each other while we wait, trust and plan for better days. Why should you lose what you have over what you do not have?

In the process, be people with a plan. Without a plan, process can become a torment. Have a plan!

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

Proverbs 21:5 NLT

What is your company like?

What plans do you have?

©️ temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.