That evening, Irewamiri asked me, “I wanted to confirm from you, why did you tell ___ that story while speaking to so and so?” I quietly explained.

There are times that I would buy things (even for her) and after she has appreciated it, “She will ask me, ” My husband, where did you get the money for this?” Especially when the gifts seem to be more than our cash flow at that season.

Initially, I used to feel like the questions were a bother. But one day, I was driving and about to get on the major road when she said, “Darling, there is a bike coming”. I applied the brakes. I did not see the bike. It was already in my blind spot. She saw it. I understood that day the privilege of having someone who sees what you do not see.

A dear father in the faith said one of his greatest lessons in ministry is never to take the counsel of his wife for granted. There was a time my mother in the faith also told my dear father that a particular lady in their ministry seem to have a mission. He felt she was being oversensitive until the day the lady in question walked into his office flashing him her breasts.

Dear man, the closest person to you who would see what you do not see is your wife. If you shut her up rather than reflect and answer her questions, you would have lost a major defence and likely get into trouble pretty soon.

Your spouse is not a mere decoration in your life. She is an accountability partner. If you are not ready to answer questions, it is better to remain single. You must be willing to share where you got the extra money. You must be willing to share your schedule and routine. You must be willing to share your temptations and struggles. You must be willing to be naked before the only one who can get intimate with you.

When Achan brought in the accursed and hid it in the tent, there was a conspiracy of silence. On the day of judgement, ignorance or innocence was not an excuse. The whole family bore the consequence. They all paid for it with their lives.

When Gehazi ran after Naaman and brought home “things they did not have yesterday”, the consequence was not personal, it was generational leprosy.

Listen, financial transparency is very essential in marriage. You cannot claim to be faithful when you cannot be financially transparent.

Do you remember the day you bought ice cream for that lady in your office and you kept it away from your wife? You bought for your wife also as an afterthought to cover up your “guilty spending”. She said “Thank you darling” and asked “Why did you buy me ice cream today?” You could not say, “I gave Jennifer a ride and she requested for ice-cream so I bought it for you too”. You dodged and pretended. When the devil sows a seed in your heart, he will return for his harvest. You are already slipping off the path of faithfulness.

Dear husband, do not get angry when you are held accountable.

Dear wife, ask with patience. Raise the concerns with honour. Approach issues with wisdom. Talk to the king in your man.

Work together as a team. Let nothing come in between both of you.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.

There is love in sharing

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