CLASSIC SERIES: COUNSEL TO A YOUNG WIFE (2)
As we drove out that evening, I had an internal debate about whether I should talk to my wife or not.
I finally told my wife, “there is something I would like to tell you, and I hope you will not be annoyed”.
We have had our fair share of misunderstandings in our few months of being married.
I spilt it out cautiously: “Darling, I am getting to a point where I am getting afraid of you. Rather than talking with me, you react. It will get to a point where I am scared of saying anything because I cannot predict your reaction”.
I discovered that because I did not want to offend her, I was beginning to agree with everything she said even though I was not in agreement actually.
Dear young wife, watch how you react to issues. A silent and constantly agreeing husband may actually be a man who already feels emotionally manipulated.
Do not take pride in giving the silent treatment or the cold shoulders. Give room for discussions.
Do not throw tantrums when you disagree. Do not bottle up issues also. The day you will spill over, it will be too messy.
Talk to your man. I know you want to be careful sometimes, so you choose silence. It is not the best approach.
If you do not get to raise it, you will react to it. You will say a lot more without words than you could have communicated with words.
Talk till it is resolved. Work as teammates, not as rivals. Find answers. That is why you are married.
A silent spouse may not be a blessing. It may be a sign that your marriage is collapsing.
I asked a man once, “why did you not talk with your wife?”. His response was simple, “I am afraid of her”. I was shocked, but I understood.
Dear wife, watch your words. Watch how you say things too. Wise words choicely selected will get you more; than the silent treatment.
I know keeping quiet is easier, but conversations are wiser. Holding discussions can be tough, but it is the best alternative.
One of the phrases a man who loves you indeed fears the most is: “Darling, we need to talk”. The day is over. He will love to listen.
Talk, do not react!