My dear teacher looked at me that day and told me these parting words about sex in marriage, “No matter what happens, do not take yourselves too seriously. Keep learning. Keep exploring till you get better”.

Dear young wife, do you want me to tell you the truth? You must learn about sex. For your husband, it is a major issue!

I am sorry if all they told you in counselling is, “If he wants it give him”. But now, you realise that it is more than that blanket statement.

You cannot just be giving him! It has been an unbearable experience. You do not get fulfilled nor derive any pleasure from it at all.

First, do not give up yet. If you both get your sex life right, you will be surprised how much of an ego booster it can be for your man and how bonded you both can get!

Some great Christian leaders share amazing thoughts about Sex in Marriage for Women. Attend their classes. Read up. Some are free.

Do not continue with the mental torture. You struggle, and now you keep saying, “I am in pain”. Sex is God’s gift and blessing. It makes rich and adds no sorrow.

You prepare mentally to have sex. It begins with the mind. You must keep looking good also. A neat lingerie is a solid confidence booster.

Talk about sex with your husband. Talk. Talk. Talk. Do not keep quiet. I pray he is a man who listens.

Who told you that only the man must make a move? Most men love it when their woman makes a move. The same way you enjoy being chased is the same way chasing your man helps his ego!

My dear sister, touch him meaningfully and with intent. Whisper to his ears in church service, “I will like to eat you up”. Unsettle his system.

Please send him a text during the peak period at work. Tell him, “Since I cannot get a hug now, I will charge you full payment with compound interest. I hope your account can carry it?”

Express yourself. Must it always be in the bedroom with lights off? What happened to the sitting room couch, romance in the kitchen and fanning the flames in the car?

Discuss after each encounter. Tell him he did well and share with him areas you would want him to touch better next time. Talk about his moves that can get you to the peak. Talk!

I know the man is the head of the family, but that is not why he must be on top at all times.

I pray you married a man who is willing to learn. There is nothing as lovely as a well-trained man. A man who listens is a blessing. You see why I keep telling you about a mentored man!

And like we were told, “Do not take yourselves too seriously. It is a school. Kindly learn and keep learning”.

I pray for you, “May your bedroom catch fire, and may your couches feel the impact”. Amen!

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.

There is love in sharing