In the midst of our disagreement that day, I wondered why such a little issue could bring about such huge reactions.
(Some responses you get at times goes deeper than the issue itself. Men must learn to listen to what has not been said also until your wife masters the art of expressing herself)
I was concerned. I called our mentor and narrated how confused I am:
“I love my family. I make sacrifices. What am I doing wrong?”
My teacher gave me sound counsel:
“Pastor Temi, I know ministry takes a lot of sacrifice. You give a lot to God and ministry. But you must be intentional not just about needs at home but about your lovely wife”
He said, “Asides what you give for the home. No matter how much your wife earns, set aside something for her. Give it to her. Let her know it is for her. No matter how little.”
Dear husband, no matter what your wife earns, set aside something for her. Don’t say, “I pay all the bills in this house and all you still do is complain”.
Even when she earns quite a chunk of money, setting aside money to give her says a lot.
Irewamiri told me that doing that means that you are thoughtful. It means you keep her in your thoughts and plans. It means a whole lot more than the amount. It is not about the money, it is about the heart!
You know she can afford a lot of things for herself but you still say, “Darling, this is for you. It is not for the home. Do not use it to buy food for us. Please, spend it on yourself”.
When last did you say or do that? Are you intentional about her? Are you deliberate about her needs also?
Let me tell you the truth, a woman has a womb for a reason. They are multipliers. I am always surprised how at times such money ends up returning to me in different forms and shapes.
Set aside something for your wife. No matter how little. Start from somewhere.