COUNSEL FOR YOUNG HUSBANDS (7) – final charge
When my phone rang that day, it was a call from a dear mother. She hit it straight: “There is a boy always hanging around your sister now. What do you think about him?”
The boy in question happens to be my friend. I spoke highly of him. Today they are married and doing great.
Why did she call me? I am pretty close to the family even though I am not related to them. I literally play the role of a son.
Dear young husband, one major secret of a successful marriage is loving your in-laws. You must be a son and a brother indeed.
I tell people courting (especially the man) to sometimes call everyone connected to the fiancée- our father, mother, brothers and friends while they refrain from calling her.
Do you know how your woman will feel when throughout the day or for days your in-laws keep telling her “your man called”?
It goes a long way to show that you care about the family. It is a major password.
Remember you won the heart of your wife, you must win the heart of her family too. Never say anything negative about them.
Even when she is annoyed and says things about her family, be quick to say honourable things about them. Do not join her. If you do, one day she will join you to insult your family too and you will not like it.
You walked into a family to take a whole human being, you are a potential threat sir.
For me, some of my wife’s brothers showed me a little- tough questions, outright displeasure at times. They could not imagine their sister settling with a village pastor after graduation.
But it did not stop me from calling even in the midst of the challenges. You know what, I speak to some of them more now than even my wife does. There are days she is so jealous tthat they tell me things they have not told her.
You need to win her family. I am not saying that you should pretend to be who you are not- No! I am saying “build necessary skills” that will put their mind at rest that their daughter is safe.
When you have their heart, you will have their hands too. They will join you to build a great home.
Do not be the dividing line between your wife and her family. You will not like it the day it backfires. Be the bridge.